‘capable woman’

this was an opinion editorial written by a student in byu’s newspaper the daily universe. i’m not quite sure when it was published, sometime within the last couple years. i find it hilarious. because i think it is completely ridiculous.

byu culture struggles to maintain the outdated and patriarchal views that disguise feminine repression through seemingly selfless acts of self-proclaimed ‘gentlemen.’ while walking through campus, i do not see any damsels in distress. i see competent, intelligent, professional women that do not need a man to hold the door, pay for a date or even present a shiny ring in the traditional manner.

i have hands, thank you. i do not feel flattered when you awkwardly hold the door open for helpless little me. i also have money. women who allow men to pay for them on a date are prostituting their worth not only in the relationship, but also in a capitalistic society that strives to provide equal opportunities. our income is worth just as much as any man’s labor could produce. finally, i am equally capable of finding my own mate. my agency need not be stifled by the whim of a male who finally decides that i am worthy to be by his side. i, too, can take a knee; i too can afford a ring. do you want a princess cut or a solid band?

my fellow sisters in zion. do not be fooled into thinking that men wear the pants in the relationship. you can, too. not only are skirts a safety hazard, preventing you from running away from danger, but they are a symbol of your submissiveness. so, zip up the pants and assume your position next to the man – not behind him.

bahahaha.

really, all i want to say about this is that i feel like by writing this, the author is saying that she views women as the weaker sex and that the only way to show we are not weak is to act like a man. false.
i like being feminine. when a guy holds the door open or pays for dinner, i see it as respectful, not demeaning. i like chivalry and i like being treated with respect. does that mean i’m not capable or competent? i don’t think so.

thoughts?

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7 thoughts on “‘capable woman’

  1. I totally agree. as a feminist, i think you can find power in wearing skirt, letting men open doors and buy you a meal. if dates are prostitution, what gives a woman the right to prostitute a man by taking him out. feminists like this drive me crazy! they assume that men and woman are always at war, which is totally false. i don't think men hold the door open for us because they think we're helpless. i think they just want to be helpful and nice. how dare they!?i want to find this lady and talk some sense into her.

  2. ahaha i definitely saw it as a way for her to act as a man. um so ridiculous. seriously, that's hilarious. i'm all for not being a feminist…

  3. yeah this is big issue… people's misconceptions of what feminism is. it's not man bashing or comparing women to men… it's empowering women for their strengths and goals… and not just because they want what men "have" or something. hopefully the writer of this has since gained a better understanding of this topic. glad you have :)

  4. Unfortunately, articles like this one can be part of the extreme misconceptions of feminism in Mormon culture. I am saddened both by the way this woman portrays normal, healthy interactions between men and women, and also by the fact that many in our culture assume this is the general stance of a feminist. I am shocked by the negative and demeaning way feminism is portrayed at times in LDS culture when, as a woman, I am exceptionally grateful for the strides that have been taken on behalf of my gender, and the rights I enjoy because of my feminist predecessors which many women around the world will never have. This kind of article only perpetuates those stereotypes and provides an excuse/justification for those who choose to scoff at efforts to make effective and important changes to the status of women in the world.It's a very sad and very serious issue. There are many things that need to change in our culture–exploitation of the female body, the portrayal of women in the media, women in powerful positions, maternity and paternity leave, equal wages, etc. And there are even more important issues facing women in the developing world, from rights to education and health care to protection from sex slavery, rape and abuse and more. As feminists, we cannot afford to make our cause ridiculous with articles such as these. We need to help everyone understand why feminism and woman's issues are of such importance in ways they can understand and appreciate. We cannot afford to alienate and offend. All people can (and should) be a part of this change.

  5. i bet a guy wrote this.he's too lazy and too cheap to man up and actually court a woman and treat her like the incredibly amazing and equally capable, though of course refreshingly different, person she is :)

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